Rachael and I went on our first cinema date last night, to see Die Hard 4.0, which was completely rubbish and very enjoyable at the same time.

I have some thoughts for die hard 5, I was thinking that maybe if there was a girl who was a computer hacker by day and stripper by night, but really she’s a family type of girl, she could be hacking into everybody’s chip-n-pin cards with her iPod whilst riding semi-naked on a nuclear missile, that is on fire, heading straight towards you know them big space-shuttle transporter rigs, being driven by a pride of lions, that are also on fire, and John McClane is right there at the point where the nuke hits the shuttle transporter, right, only his gun and badge have been personally taken off him by the President of the United States on account of someone who speaks a European Language having stolen his identity. So John McClane is there, right, his left leg is completely off, he’s treading water in liquid nitrogen that has piranhas in it, and it’s raining sulphuric acid (get an Eco angle on the story, too!) and just before the impact right, he beats up the lions with the soggy end of his leg, which is on fire, and uses the boss lion’s own teeth to chew through its own neck, then at the last minute manages to swerve the shuttle transporter out of the way and the nuke harmlessly zooms past and wipes out the Pentagon instead, which it turns out was at the bottom of the WHOLE THING.

Anyway. What made me feel patriotic was the wonderful staff at the cinema who were as embarrassed by the huge portions of soft drinks as we were bemused, and who were impressively down-to-earth regarding the price and the quality of the “food” on offer in the foyer. Despite having parked by a Frankie and Benny’s American Style Diner, in the middle of a horrid American-style strip mall, and had a thoroughly American-style dousing in crass commerce as we entered the cinema, these stalwarts of light-hearted British sardonic sincerity reminded us we were still in a land of sanity and of soul… i.e. Britain.