Question #1

I decided to call myself sweavo after the lead character in “sweevo’s world” because I couldn’t get steve, stevec, steve.c, steve-o, steveo, or a billion other variants on yahoo or something. But I spelled it wrong.

The name sweavo is NOT pronounced sway-voe

Question #2

I constantly anticipate the imminent collapse of society: this is true, some part of my brain is always suggesting I should prepare for the collapse of society as we know it and be more self-sufficient.

I believe in God: This was not a fair option. I do believe in God, but not in the classic anthropomorphic way. I have a bigger problem with most religions. I guess you could say I have more faith in God than I do in People, and churches are really about People not God.

I believe you can only love one person. This is false, hence was the right answer. I believe it’s possible to love many people, though it gets confusing when you try to sort out the Jesus love, the thy-Neighbour love, the family love, the soul-mate love and the carnal sort.

My confidence is overcompensation for my shyness. True.

Question #3

When I am grumpy you can make me grumpier by:

Telling me it will all be all right: so what you’re saying is not only am I bewildered and worried but I’m WRONG too?! Right answer.

Ordering me to do something, Calling me Grumpy Chops, or Causing an emergency: All of these will usually cause me to snap out of it by giving me a sense of direction.

Question #4

Of the following, which is my greatest regret: that I
never learned to just get on with things.

That I didn’t marry my fiancee? This is in fact one of the very few things in my life I am 100% sure about.

Question #5

Which of the following holds the greatest fascination for me?

Vintage computers: you should get half a point for this

Running Water: the right answer. I could model an elastic band or a vintage computer in C and I could put images on the net. But not running water, it’s responsible for the landscape, it does amazing things to light, and the currents and eddies present in a rapid completely defy my attempts at mathematical modelling.

World Politics: this does not fascinate me, it repels me.

An elastic band: Give yourself 90% of a point, as an early school report of mine said “Steven will happily spend 20 minutes playing with an elastic band”…

Question #6

I regard Liberalism as: A desirable luxury with a cost

This question was a bit cruel since I think I come across more right wing than I really am. The responses bear that out.

Question #7

In my first house, what might have changed the entire course of my life?

The Fire Brigade: the fire brigade so nearly featured in my stay in that house, as I was threatened with being firebombed out of my home.

The RNLI: a decoy

A crossbow: This is the right answer. During my stay there I had lots of trouble with kids throwing stuff at and through the windows, harassment and burglary. After the failure of the police and council to ease the problems, my housemates and I came to the sincere and considered opinion that nothing short of a crossbow bolt through the knees would stop these kids. If I had had access to one I may have used it in my desperation and now I would have a criminal record.

A Hammond Organ: This option is here for the fantasy value. I did own a Hammond organ while I stayed there, but it was not going to change my life.

Question #8

What dance am I worst at

Rumba: the right answer. I only know a basic step.

Salsa on 1, Salsa on 2, Cha cha cha: These are so nearly the same dance that it’s impossible to be a beginner at one of them when you’re advanced in another one.

Question #9

Ah, question 9, soon: val

This is an in-joke. val originated when someone hit Return instead of backspace in a chatroom and quit unexpectedly with only half of a goodbye message. Val now stands for “… and when you take into account the context, the sentence so far, and the relative irrelevance of what I’m going to say, there’s no need to finish this val”

it will be question 10, it will be over, you can go back to work: All true enough, but superfluous, hence “val”.

Question #10

Of the following, which is my greatest regret:

Not having been born in south america: not that bothered on balance, though I’d love to visit places where dancing and drumming are a part of the culture.

Being born into the 20th century: I’m one of those people who often wish they were born in an earlier age. However, I reasoned that had I been born in the eighteenth century, I would have lived my life preposessed with the idea that I ought to have been born in the sixteenth.

Waiting till 33 to start getting into latin music: nah, this is among the smallest of my regrets.

Spending ages on this quiz instead of doing something productive: At the time of writing, I was really regretting having set myself 10 questions to think up!