On my way out to lunch today, hungry (always a bad thing) driving too fast, but leaving a huge safety gap, and thinking of house moving, washing-machine repairs, van rentals, work deadlines and salsa teaching, and suddenly I was distracted by what looked like a eurostar train coming the other way with FTN PILOT or something written across the front, pixellated in glittering lights.

I was momentarily puzzled by this thing, which turned out to be a futuristic bendybus. I immediately started thinking about the trouble the existing bendybus has on its route inside the inner ringroad where it has to rely on the courtesy and forethought of both directions of traffic to get out of its turning onto the inner ring road.

Then I noticed the car in front was stationary, waiting to turn right after this bus.

The cinquecento does not have anti-lock brakes, in fact I would go so far as to say it had extra-lock brakes, as each time you use the handbrake it sticks on, and from that point until you clout it a lot with a hammer, the brakes are very prone to locking on the back.

Nor does the cinquecento have much of a contact patch with the tarmac.

So there I am, doing 38mph, 37,mph, 36mph with all four wheels locked, and the distance between me and the unforgiving rear of the car in front is reducing at a much great rate than my speed. In my minds eye I see I am going to come to rest about half a car length in front of the car I’m hoping to avoid.

I need a plan.

I remember that grip is better when the brakes are off, but also that this will give me steering at the expense of stopping. There is oncoming traffic. I get a left-hand lock on, but keep the brakes on to get rid of as much speed as possible. At the last moment I release the brakes, and the car obediently leaps up the (fortunately sloping) kerb onto the grass verge.

The spare momentum is enough to carry me up onto the verge, around the stationary car, and back onto the road, where I wave an apology, put it in second or maybe third gear, and continue on my way.

That momentum could have so easily been transferred into crumpling of metal and placing of engine blocks onto shins, steering wheels into faces, and into the yanking apart of several veterbrae with all their sensitive bits of important signal-carrying nerves.

In short, I’m glad I have the right instincts for a situation like that, but I don’t think I’ll rely on them. I think I’ll work harder at not getting in situations like that again.

I still don’t know what an FTN PILOT is.