He fixed my mouth…
and as I slept,
he filled my mouth with IIIII-ron
That made me laugh when I heard it in about 1984. It was the Baron Knights’ version of “Rivers of babylon” by Boney-M, and it was what kept going through my head while I had my first ever filling today.
I went in there blazé as anything. It wasn’t till the seat when back and the range of metal implements came out and they stuck a needle in my gum that I realised I was terrified. I said so, and asked if I could have a running commentary. The dentist was surprised and said usually people would rather be in denial, but I got a brownie point for admitting I was scared, since apparently boys don’t tend to do that. After a brief explanation of what was involved and roughly how long it took, we commenced and I felt a lot better. Now, over 3 hours later, I’m just getting the feeling back in my cheek and tongue, and I’m having to get used to having whole teeth where there were formerly craggy landscapes which, scaled up 500 000 times and drained of their saliva, would inspire local tribespeople to worship and visiting colonials to great feats of physical endurance.
I couldn’t help thinking, lying there with my reflexes screaming at me to swallow and boney-M going round and round my head, that that must have been something like what Joe Simpson must have felt. But scaled down by 500,000 times, obviously.
7 comments so far...
Down with dental horror!
Well done you for admitting to being scared. It’s amazing how reassuring it is to know what’s about to happen and that it’ll be OK. I always hate walking around afterwards not being able to feel half my face, and paranoid that I’m dribbling. This is why I always make filling appointments as late in the day as possible so I can go straight home and hide away till my face regains it’s feelings.
I’ve got to have a filling replaced soon. I hate having to drink my beer through a straw (to avoid pouring it down my front too soon in the evening) afterwards.
I just close my eyes and clench my hands so much I dig the nails in my palms!
Quasimodo impressions are much easier after dentistry. True fact. And Woo! for Barron-Knightage! :)
After I had a filling I then had to practice a flute duet for an exam. I couldn’t even feel the left side of my face, let alone blow a flute! I has making some very strange faces during that practice.
He said rinse out your mouth, in the receptacle by your side on the right…gurgle gurgle spit. No the right.
I also have Baron Knights Dentist Song Syndrome. Not featured on I-tunes.
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