Walking into work today, made brief eye contact with a guy, whose half-eaten sausage roll promptly slid out of its wrapper onto the pavement. I quickly averted my eyes since, as any man knows, the only thing worse than dropping your food on the floor is having someone see you do something stupid.
I was suddenly seized by the urge to buy him another sausage roll. Then I thought: it’s not that sad, it was only full of toxins anyway. He’s probably made a nett gain by failing to eat the whole of it.
Then I thought of the pig, who lived its whole life in crowded squalor, culminating in that sausage roll. Then I WAS sad.